Heard Your Voice
by Fourtris Eaton
Summary: What if the memory serum went out? What if everyone forgot? Things are fixed in the city. Things are back to the way they were before Jeanine, before Allegiant, before the battles. Except Tris remembers everything. And Tobias has no idea who she is. (rating is because there WILL be sex.) New chapters every Tuesday.
1. Chapter 1

I wake up in dark room, on a bed that I'm not comfortable with. I'm not sure where I am. The last thing that I remember is being at the Bureau of Genetic Welfare with David aiming a gun at me. And then the overwhelming pain…and then the darkness that had settled over me. I sit up and groan, my side is sore from where I had been shot. I lift my shirt and see stitches and bruises that have just started to turn yellow. Wherever I was, I had been operated on…and I am alive. Which is also a major surprise to me. I look around the room and realized where I was. I am in the infirmary back at the Dauntless compound. I had assumed that I would wake up at the Bureau or something. Did David really hate that I tried to stop him so much that he sent me back to the city? If that isn't the case, then what am I doing back here? I bring my legs to the side of the bed to stand up, stumbling slightly. How long exactly had I been asleep? I grab the water on the table next to the bed and take a drink; maybe I'm just dehydrated.

"Oh good, you're awake."

I turn to see a woman, probably mid-thirties, come into the room and she smiles at me. She is dressed in all black with both arms covered in tattoos. The smile is a little off putting. We're not in Amity, this is Dauntless. And smiles are just given to anyone. I don't recognize her, but then again I didn't really know anyone other than the initiates when I was here. And when I did stay in the infirmary…I was unconscious, so if she had taken care of me before, I wouldn't have remembered. "If you're all set, go on and head down to the Pit."

I feel my eyebrows come together on my head, why would I need to go down to the Pit? All I want is answers, actually. "Why?" I ask.

She raises her eyebrows at me, but shrugs. Maybe I should already know the answer to this, but I'm not sure. "Four's down there. He says he's waiting on you before they get started."

I feel the familiar sensation in my chest, the same I get every time someone mentions Tobias to me. I nod anywhere and I leave the infirmary heading down the stairs toward the Pit. I wonder what exactly we need to get started on. I pass a couple of people on my way down, and it confuses me because I hadn't expected so many people to be here. Or any, for that matter. Hadn't Evelyn set up the idea that being in a faction, wearing all one color, punishable by death? Or at least a severe beating? Hadn't Dauntless been avoided since then? They all say hello as I pass, which is strange in and of itself, because I have no idea who they are. I don't understand what's going on. I shake my head and look around the pit as I see Tobias. My heart soars when I see him and I can't help but smile. Maybe he can explain things to me. As I grow closer I see that he's talking to a group of people. A group of people wearing yellow, blue and black. There is no one here in grey. No one like me…no one like Tobias. What is happening?

"Tobias," I say. He turns, and when he sees me, he glares at me and I stop in my tracks. He has never looked at me in that way and it cuts through me like nothing I've ever felt before. It's worse than the healing gunshot wound in my side. I bite my lower lip and watch as he turns around to face the group.

"All right Initiates," Tobias says. My heart drops. Initiates? What the hell? Exactly how long had I been unconscious for? There was no way that this was almost a year after I had shown up here. That much time could not have passed. What had happened to me back at the Bureau? Did David do something to me other than nearly killing me? Okay, I need to take a breath. I have to be sleeping right now. There is no possible way that this is real. It _can't_ be real. It doesn't make sense. "Welcome to Dauntless. My name is Four and this is Tris. She and I will be training those of you who were brave enough to transfer. Those of you who thought jumping off of a building was difficult; you're in for one hell of ride. Dauntless born will be going with Lauren. You'll be ranked together but trained separately. And those of you who can't make it…you'll be Factionless."

There are gasps from the group of initiates and they begin murmuring to each other, the same way that my group did. And I start to have the weirdest feeling of déjà vu, like I was in a sim, but I can't do anything about it. This is _not_ my life. This should not be happening. New initiates? New transfers? What happened to the system collapsing and the war started by Jeanine Matthews? What about the truth? I watch as the Dauntless born follow Lauren out of the room and I am left in the Pit with Tobias and the transfers. I have never felt more out of place in my life. Even in the black clothing, I feel like there is a target on me somewhere. I don't belong here. Tobias looks at me and nods at the transfers. "Show them to the dorms," he says.

His voice is rough and his eyes are hard. Either he's angry about something I've done, or he doesn't know me. Except the Tobias I know would just tell me instead of treating me this way. I don't know why I would dream of something like this. It doesn't make sense. I swallow. "Tobias…" I say, my voice soft.

He glares at me again. "Don't ever call me that," he snaps at me. "Take them to the dorms."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Sorry it was so short. I'll try harder. Enjoy**

I show the initiates to their dorm and showed them the bathroom, following the motions that I had watched Tobias make a year previous. I answer questions like they're a second nature to me. I don't know how this has happened. This is a punishment and I have no way of escaping the life I have been dropped into. I lead them to the dining hall and my eyes immediately look for Tobias, and I see him, and the sight of him makes me heart ache. I don't feel like I can approach him. The way he looked at me when we were in the Pit, he doesn't know me. No one knows me. I half contemplate leaving the dining hall and not eating, but not eating would just be pointless and stupid. Besides, I'm hungry and there looks to be burgers on the tables. I look around the room to see if I recognize anyone….I see Shauna and Zeke sitting together on the other side of the hall, but given my circumstances, they probably don't remember me either. And I don't want to take any chances that they do and I end up walking into a situation that I can't handle. I take a step toward a table in the corner, to eat alone, but stop when I hear Christina.

"Tris!"

I turn and see Christina coming toward me and I smile. At least _she_ knows me. However, I'm not sure if she remembers me in the same way that I do. We were friends during training, but did we remain close in the past year that I seem to be missing from my life? I follow her to a table and watch as she sits down _next_ to Tobias. I stop in my tracks and can't stop to look of horror as I see her kiss his cheek and I have to take a deep breath to keep myself from reacting; to get rid of the facial expression before they see and ask me what's wrong. I have to take a deep breathTo keep myself from crying. This is Dauntless…you don't cry here…crying makes you weak.

"Hey," he says to her with a smile. He doesn't even look at me. It's like I don't even matter to him…and thanks to David, thanks to this sim that's not a sim, I don't. I feel my heart breaking apart into a thousand pieces and I can't move. Christina looks up at me.

"Well are you going to sit or what?" she asks me.

I nod, swallowing past the lump in my throat and move to sit down across from them. I keep my eyes down on my food, trying to focus on anything but the conversation going on between them. This is masochism in its worst form. I' m not entirely sure just how long I can sit here without losing my mind and my patience. I only look up when I feel someone kick my foot and Christina's staring at me like my crazy.

"Well?" she asks.

"What?"

"How does the group look?" she asks me. "Four says that they don't look promising, but then I told him that neither did we."

She laughs and I can't help but notice it…she doesn't call him Tobias. Does she not know his real name? Did he not tell her about his past? Did he take her into his fear landscape? I glance at him, and he's looking at me, but once out eyes meet he turns away, the muscle in his temple pulsing. I sniff before turning my attention back to Christina

"Oh," I say taking a sip of the water that's in front of me. "They look alright. They might surprise us, you know."

"True…were there any of the Stiffs this year?" she asks.

I tense at the word and out of the corner of my eye I see Tobias dose as well. But I won't make anything of it. I can't get my hopes up here. It won't do me any good if I don't play along. There's nothing else I _can_ do. I'm trapped. I shake my head and take a bite of the burger that I've started to squeeze too tightly in my hands. "No," I say. "None this year."

She grins. "Good, because no offense, you were kind of boring in the beginning."

I glance up at her and realize that this isn't how our friendship was. This has been manipulated to the point where I am not supposed to be happy. I am not supposed to get what I want. What does that mean for Caleb? What does that mean for the other people that I care about? I force a laugh and set the burger down. I don't care that it's the first night the initiates are here and there's supposed to be this speech or something, I can't be around this. I finish off my water and am about to get up when someone sits next to me and I feel an arm on my waist. I jump and turn to see Peter looking at me with a grin.

What.

Is.

Happening?

"Hey babe," Peter tells me leaning in to kiss me. I am in such a state of shock that I let him.

"Hey," I say my voice quiet as I turn back to the face the others. I look up, because I feel eyes on me and I realize that it's Tobias staring at me. His eyebrows have come together on his forehead and he looks…well…a little angry. And maybe a bit confused as well. Though I don't understand why. I think I should give up trying to understand what situation I've been placed in, because this is all just ridiculous and stupid and I will never understand.

"How's the group look?" I hear Peter ask, his hand still on my waist and I feel like I'm going to be sick to my stomach. I reach across the table and pour myself some more water and sip at it before answering.

"They look good," I say, my voice shaky.

That's when the cups start hitting the table and a voice starts booming from the balcony that is just above the dining hall. Max begins go speak and I barely hear any if, my heart is beating to fast in my chest, the only thing I can hear is the blood rushing through my body. Keeping me alive. Keeping me _here_. Then the cheers start up and Peter's hand leaves me and I sip at the water again, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. Everyone's left from the table, cheering, hollering and celebrating the new initiates. Everyone but me. If I stand, I am more than likely going to pass out and end up back in the infirmary.

"Are you all right?"

I am surprised that I can hear this question, given the noise surrounding me. I open my eyes and see Tobias leaning across the table and looking at me. His hand has half reached out to touch mine, but it looks like he changed his mind at the last minute. How I wish he hadn't stopped.

I shake my head at his question. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know who I am. _I_ know who_ he_ is...and in any situation that I'm in, I know that I can always tell him anything. "No," I whisper back, my voice coming out choked and broken. A tear finds its way back my barrier and falls onto my cheek. "No, I'm not."

I set the cup down and get up from the table pushing past the crowds of people and escaping the noise. I turn a corner and stop, resting up against the wall and let the sobs come out. I can't stop them now, even if I wanted to. This isn't my life. I fall to the floor, because I can't hold myself anymore. I hear running footsteps and look up in time for Tobias to skid to a stop and look down at me. I turn my face away from him and wipe my face with the sleeve of my jacket.

"What?" I ask him, my breath still coming out shakily. He doesn't move; doesn't say anything, so I have to look up at him. "What do you want, _Four_?" I ask, my voice echoing down the hallway. Luckily, everyone is at the celebration, and no one will hear me or see me crying.

He shakes his head and he's got that same confused, angry, look on his face. "Don't call me that," he says. Despite the way his jaw is clenched, and his throbbing temple, his voice comes out soft.

"You don't want me to call you Tobias, and you don't want me to call you Four," I say, with a hard laugh. I pick myself off of the floor and shake my head as Ilook up into his eyes. "Do you just not want me to talk to you period?"

He shakes his head again. "I don't know," he says. "It doesn't feel right with you calling me Four."

"It should," I say. "It's all I've ever called you, right?"

He hesitates and I swallow. "How do you even know that name?" he asks me. "No one here knows me by that name."

I bite my lip. This couldn't possible turn out any worse it is, right? Should I maybe tell him how I know his name?' Will that just make me seem crazy? "I know…" I say slowly. "About Marcus."

His eyes narrow at me. "What?" he demands. "How?"

"You showed me," I say. "In your fear landscape."

He shakes his head. "No," he says, his voice hard now. He looks angry. "No I didn't."

I nod. "But that's fine that you don't believe me," I say. "I seem to be the only one who remembers."

"Remembers what?" he asks.

I shake my head at his question and move past him to leave the hallway. I can't do this.

"Tris!" he calls out after me.

I stop and turn back to look at him. "It never happened."


	3. Chapter 3

By some miracle, I make my way through the maze of hallways and doors and eventually end up finding my room. It's where I must have been staying before I woke up in the infirmary. I assume it's my room, because it's done up exactly the way I would have designed it. It was simple, and nothing too extravagant. There is only the one bed, which means I haven't needed to share with anyone. I remember the interaction I had with Peter in the cafeteria and I immediately go to the closet to search for clothes that don't belong to me. I don't find any hanging up and in the dresser there are just clothes of my own. I let out a breath of relief because that I wasn't completely freaked out by Peter kissing me. If I had to spend one night in the same room with Peter…being _intimate.._.I probably would have killed myself. I shudder at the thought. It makes me sick to my stomach and I have to run to the conjoining bathroom and throw up.

I lay down against the cold tile before I strip off my clothing and get into the shower. I turn on the water and let the cold water fall over my body. I hate it here. I hate what my life has become. The decisions I've made brought me here. To this path…to this place…and I don't even recognize it. I don't recognize my life anymore. I choke out a sob and bang my fist against the wall. I never wanted to be the girl who organizes her life around her boyfriend. But Tobias was more than just a boyfriend. Or at least he had been. And now he wasn't anything more to me other than a partner. We were training the initiates together and that's all that we will have between us. He's with Christina now. And I'm with…Peter. I shudder again and pour myself a cup of water. I don't care what I've been placed here for…or why. I can't do it with him. Not with Peter. Not with anyone.

I walk to the closet and change into clothes before leaving, almost tripping as I'm out of the door. I catch myself on the wall and look at the wall to see what I've tripped over. Tobias is sitting under on the floor next to my door with his legs stretched out. It's like he didn't even feel me. Typical.

"What the hell are you doing?" I ask, straightening out my jacket. He looks up at me and I shake my head. "Shouldn't you be out celebrating with Christina or something?"

I don't wait for his answer as I start to make my out of the hallway toward the stairs leading up to the tattoo shop. I don't know what I want, I just know that I want one. I just need to do something to get my mind off of this. Or maybe I should have gone to sleep so that I could wake up the next morning and throw myself into training. Training always made me feel at ease, balanced. I nearly make it away from him when I feel a tug on my arm, pulling me back into the hallway that leads to my room.

"Tris."

He's staring at me and I lift my hands up in frustration. "What?" I ask. "What do you want from me?"

Being around him makes me feel several different emotions. My heart, which knows him, knows everything about him, soars and I'm filled joy and excitement. But my brain…it knows that this Tobias doesn't know anything about me. He doesn't know the first thing about who I am or what makes me tick, or that when he touches me, my body sets fire. With him looking at me in the way that I know that he has no idea who I am, it crushes me entirely.

"I just want to talk to you," he says.

I shake my head. "We have nothing to talk about." I turn to leave but he grabs my arm and pulls me back. He opens the door to my room and pushes me inside. If I hadn't known better, I would have thought he was trying to make a move. But I did. And this wasn't Tobias.

"How do you know about Marcus?"

I sigh and take off my jacket. I have a feeling that I'm going to be here for a while. I hang it off the back of the chair before sitting down on the bed. "I told you. You let me into your fear landscape."

He shakes his head. "No I didn't!" He shouts the words at me and I flinch. I look away from him and clench my jaw.

"Believe what you want," I tell him. "I don't have any reason to lie to you." He crosses to me and I look up at him. "If that's all you came here for then you can leave. I have plans."

"Do those plans involve Peter?"

I narrow my eyes at him. "What does that even matter?"

"It doesn't," he says, turning away from me. The muscle in his temple is throbbing again and I swallow, looking away from him. He runs his fingers through his hair and I can't help but notice that they're trembling. He pulls the chair out from the desk and sits on it. "If you were in my landscape, what's in there?"

This could be a dangerous path. But he wasn't going to leave without an answer. So I sit up and nod at his question.

"You only have four fears…hence the name. Which, you know, was given to you by Amar," I tell him. He raises his eyebrows at me, obviously surprised. "Not many people know that either do they?" I can't help but ask the question with a grin. Surprising Tobias was difficult to do, but I'm sure given my currently situation and the things that I know about him, I think that I'll have my fair share of surprising him. I don't fight to keep my smile off my face lips. It feels good. "First is fear of heights," I say. "I found that out at the Ferris Wheel though."

"Ferris Wheel?" he repeats.

I shake my head, not wanting to go into that right now. "The second is fear of confinement," I continue. "Then fear of following orders….killing an innocent. And the last fear, the worst fear, is Marcus."

He stares at me. "How can you possible know that?"

He sounds completely astounded. I would be to, if I was in his position. "I know a lot about you," I say. I take a deep breath. "But you don't know the first thing about me." I get up from the bed and grab my jacket from the chair he's sitting on. "But you should stop coming around," I say, pulling the jacket on. "You might end up giving Christina the wrong idea."

"And what about Peter?" he asks, getting up from the chair.

I shake my head. "I don't care about Peter," I answer. "But that doesn't matter anymore. Nothing matters."

"I don't understand you when you talk like that, Tris," he says staring at me, shaking his head.

I shrug. "I'm sorry about that," I say. I look up at him and place a hand on his cheek. I stand on my toes and press my lips to his other cheek. "I'll try better next time."

I settle back on my feet and he's looking at me, not with anger, but with confusion. I should get used to that look. "Where are you going?" he asks me.

"I don't know," I say throwing my hands up. "But I can't stay here with you." I give him a smile and head for the door. I shut it behind me and rest against it. That was it. That was the beginning of goodbye. I couldn't have him the way that I wanted. So maybe just being friends would be enough. But not yet, not now. I had to be able to handle myself around him and deal with the consequences of my actions.

All I need to do is survive.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning I change into my training clothes and head down to the Pit. I get there early so I can practice, so I can get out any lingering frustrations. The knives are all set out on the table and I go over to them before grabbing them and throwing them at the target. I pretend that it's David. I wish I could kill him. I still know where the Bureau is. But if I tried to leave, would he try to cause _more_ damage in my life? I don't know what else he could take from me. I've already lost everything that matters to me. And even if Caleb is there…in Erudite, there's no way that he would know about me…or the past. It seems to be just me. And even if there were any other divergents, I'd have no way of seeking them out without implicating myself.

I wondered if it even mattered here now. Now that things were back to normal…at least for the most part. I hadn't ventured outside of the Dauntless compound yet, but I was pretty sure that not even David could bring people back to life. What did they think back at the Bureau? Did they think that this was some funny joke or something? I wish I could go back and finish the job…I wish I could ruin him in the way that he ruined me. But then again, he was ruined the moment my mother told him that she wasn't coming back. And maybe he was taking it out on me. Maybe because I reminded him so much of my mother…and that she got happiness where he did not find it, he was taking mine away from me. If he wanted to make me suffer, he's done a pretty good job so ar.

I throw the knife in my hand at the center of the target and it sinks in deep, and I take a breath. I throw another one and it lands nearly on top of the other knife, digging into the gel. I hear clapping behind me and I turn quickly, out of reflex almost throwing the knife at them. I stop myself in time, however, and the knife doesn't hit Peter. I stiffen when he approaches me, because I don't know what relationship David put us into…and I really don't want to find out. He kisses my cheek before walking back to the table and grabbing five of his own blades. He comes to stand next to me and flips a blade in his hand before flinging it at a target. It hits dead center. I forget that I was not the only one who could hit my targets.

He turns to look at me with a grin and I can't help but smile back at him. This is strange, being alone with him and not being scared. The last time we were in the Pit together he had beaten me to a concussion. I wondered if he remembered that reality of if everything that I remembered had been altered. Everything that I know about these people…are they still the same or have they been changed to fit the situation so that I feel as out of place as possible.

"You wanna go stand in front of the target?" Peter asks me with a grin.

I shake my head. "No way."

"Why not?" he asks. "You did it when Four was throwing the knives."

I swallow. So that part was still true. I wonder if he had done it for the same reasons though. "That was a different time," I say, turning from him and throwing another knife.

I can feel him watching me. "Are you okay, Tris?" he asks. "You don't seem like yourself."

I can't help but smile at that. Luckily he can't see me. "Well that's because I don't."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't feel like myself. I feel different…out of place. I don't want certain things in my life anymore."

I lift my arm to throw another knife, but he crosses to me and grabs my arm, pulling me around to him. Did the Tris that David make me like it when she was pushed around like this? Because I certainly didn't. I stare up at him.

"What things?" Peter asks, his hand wrapped around my wrist, and he wasn't letting go.

I tug on my arm to try and pull from him, but his grip is tight. "Certain things," I tell him.

He narrows his eyes at me. "Tell me what you don't want, Tris." His voice is hard and the smile has vanished from his lips. I swallow.

"Let go of me, Peter," I say, trying to keep the pain out of my voice.

"_Tell me_," he demands. He pulls my arm forward and the knives drop from my hands. He lifts his free hand and presses a knife to my throat. "Is it me? You don't want me in your life anymore?"

I am shaking now. I don't remember being this scared before. "Peter, _please._" My voice cracks and the sound brings a smile to his face. He's turned on by this. I hear footsteps heading into the Pit.

"Hey!"

Peter turns his head and I use the distraction to lift my other arm and hit Peter across the face and knee him in the groin. He falls to the floor and I grab the knife from him, holding it to his neck.

"Don't you _ever_ come near me again!" I yell at him. "If you come near me, I _will_ _kill you."_

Arms come around me and pull me away from him and I watch as Peter gets to his feet nursing a broken nose. The arms let me go and Tobias walks toward Peter.

"Do you think that makes you strong? Do you think that attacking a woman makes you _brave_?" Tobias' voice is hard and shaking with rage. I haven't seen him like this often. If I was Peter, I would be terrified. Peter shakes his head and _I'm_ a little turned on watching Tobias in action. "Get the hell out of here. Take the train to the fence. You're on guard duty until I tell you otherwise."

Peter hesitates and looks back at me, like I'm going to protect him or something. I'm pretty sure the look on my face is one of disgust, because I've never been more disgusted with anyone in my life.

"Did you not hear me?!" Tobias' voice booms against the concrete and Peter flinches.

He runs from the room and I turn away from him running my hand over my neck and pull it away to find blood. "Great," I murmur. I go the table where the knives are and grab a towel and dab it against my neck. I run my fingers through my hair and let out a sigh. I hear Tobias behind me, picking up the knives that I had dropped to the floor. I have to take a deep breath to keep myself from crying. I have to keep myself together. The initiates will be here any moment and I can't come off as weak to them. Weakness will make it seem like they can walk all over me. I jump when I hear the blades clatter on the table.

"Sorry," he says before straightening them out. He looks at me and sees the towel. He reaches out to assess the damage, but I pull away from him. I 'm not sure if I can handle him touching me right now. He looks like I've offended him or something. "Let me see."

I look away from him before I put the towel down. "It's probably not even that bad," I say.

"May I?" he asks. I nod and he places one hand on my neck and one on my chin, titling my head back and the touch sends fire through my entire body. I jerk away at the sensation and he drops his hands. "Tris." His voice is quiet and I feel him staring at me. I look up at him and the look on his face surprises me. It's not the look of confusion that he had stared at me with yesterday, but he'd looking at me like he used to look at me.

I feel a lump in my throat and I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. His hands are on my face again and he takes a step toward me. My breath hitches in my throat. "Tobias?" I whisper.

He smiles at me and leans in to kiss me. My eyes close and I wait the arrival of his lips on mine, but before they can, I hear the chatter and footsteps of the initiates coming our way. I pulled away from him and put the towel back up to my neck. I look down at the table and arrange the knives in order before turning to face the group. I move far enough away from Tobias so that I can have a second to collect myself again. "How many of you have held a blade?" I ask them. I see a few hands. "How many of you have used that blade as a weapon?" The hands fall. I nod, setting the towel down before picking up a blade and twirling it between my hands. "When you use a blade, you have to be precise and you have to have the driving force behind the throw or else it's not going to do you much good. Like so."

I turn and from my spot on the floor, I throw the blade at the target and it hits dead center. I turn back to look at the group and I see Tobias standing behind them, grinning at me. It makes my heart skip a beat in my chest because I hadn't thought he'd ever look at me like this again. But I don't know what it means or if it means anything. I smile back at him before heading to the target to grab my blade. "Line up!"


	5. Chapter 5

After we finish training, we let the group to down to the cafeteria, but I stick around to put the knives away. I think that I'm alone but I see Tobias pulling blades out of the targets that's next to me. I don't know what happened back there, before everyone came in, and I don't want to push matters because given memory serum, I don't know if anyone can come back from that. Even with divergence, people with perfect genes hadn't been able to fight it. Then again, no one should have been able to fight the death serum, and I did that. I swallow and, trying my hardest not to look at him as I pull the knife from the gel and drop it into the box I'm carrying. He had almost kissed me. And though I wanted it, I couldn't do that to Christina…as messed up as that relationship was. As different as she was treating me, I couldn't do that to her. She was still my friend, even if it wasn't in the same way I remembered. I couldn't sweep in and expect things to go back to the way they were. Especially since I knew the way the serums worked. She would hate me and I would lose her. Maybe I've already lost her though. The Christina I knew…she wouldn't have said the things she did back in the cafeteria.

He steps toward me and drops the knives into the box before moving onto the next target. I bite my lower lip and take a breath. "Can I ask you something?" I ask.

He looks at me and nods, looking a little surprised by the question. "Yeah of course," he says. "What's up?"

I lick my lips. "How did..." I pause because I'm not entirely sure how to word it. "How _exactly _did Peter and I happen?"

His hand pauses on the knife and his eyebrows come together, confused by the question. "What do you mean?'

I make a face and shrug. "I don't understand how we started dating."

He opens his mouth to speak, but stops, shaking his head. "I…uh…I don't remember," he says. "You guys both transferred over last year…"

I shake my head. "No, _that_ part I remember," I say. "But what I remember doesn't seem to be the same as what everyone else remembers."

"What do _you_ remember?"

"I remember Peter hating me and beating me senseless on that mat," I say pointing behind Tobias to the mat where he had taught us how to fight. "I remember things being different with everyone. Especially with you."

"What was different?"

I look at him and contemplate answering, but shake my head and drop the last knife into the box before walking away from him. I set the box on the table and I hear him let out an annoyed laugh. I don't turn around to look at him.

"Why do you do that?" he asks me.

"Do what?" I ask, resting my hands on the table and biting my lip.

He walks around the table so that my back isn't to him. If I turn around now it'll be too obvious that I'm trying to avoid his gaze. So I look up at him. "You say things that don't make any sense and then when I ask for an explanation, you completely ignore the topic."

I shrug. "What do you want from me, Tobias?"

He sighs. "I want you to give me a straight answer," he says. "Why is that so hard?"

I scoff. "Becausethisisn't my life," I snap at him.

"I don't know what that means!"

"And you wouldn't," I say. "Did you know that Abnegation has a memory serum?" I ask. "Like Candor has the truth serum and we have the Fear serum?"

He nods. "Everyone knows that."

"And you wouldn't remember ever taking it," I say. "You wouldn't know what's real and what's not. You take the information they give you and that's it. That's all you've got to go off of. Because _that's_ the truth you've been forced to accept."

I shake my head and turn away from him, running my shaking fingers through my hair. This is frustration and it's starting to get annoying.

"So you're saying is that we've all been given a memory serum?" he asks. He doesn't sound like he thinks I'm crazy. But he doesn't sound like he believes me either. "What about you? What's the life that you remember?"

I think about running away, hiding out from him until it's time for the next training session, but I know that it's not the best idea. He knows where to find me. "You loved me," I say, my voice no more than a whisper. I turn my head, but don't look back at him. .I lick my lips. "And I loved you."

He is quiet at that and neither of us moves. I close my eyes and shake my head. "What happened?" he finally asks.

I shrug. "I don't know," I answer. "I pissed the wrong person off and now he's taken everything from me. I don't have anything anymore."

I hear his footsteps and I take a deep breath as his hand wraps around my wrist and pulls me to face him. He can see the tears that are sliding down my face and I don't care. He lifts a hand to brush his thumb across my cheek. "That's not true," he says.

"It is though," I tell him. "You don't know me. You only know _this_ version of me and it's not the girl I am."

"Who are you then?" he asks, his voice soft, his hand still on my cheek. He doesn't move, and I don't want him to.

I want to tell him; I want to kiss him. I want things to go back to the way they were before. Because that was the life that I knew. That is the life that I understand. And that's where I want to be. I want Tobias to be holding me like this because he loves me, and not just because he's confused. But I can't tell him. I can't make him remember.

"I'm your girlfriend's friend," I say, shaking my head. "I think,…I'm not actually sure what our relationship," I sigh. "And that…the two of you together…don't get me wrong, but I don't understand at all. It just…doesn't make sense to me. None of this does." He doesn't drop his hands, even at my mention of Christina. He just stares at me, with those dark blue eyes that I love. "Do you love her?"

The corner of his mouth twitches up and he shakes his head. "No," he says. "To be honest with you…I don't remember how or why it happened. It just did. She and I don't have anything in common."

I want to fight to smile on my lips because the idea that him not being in love with her, it shouldn't make me happy. She's my best friend and I shouldn't want this for her. But if it's not real…like I know it's not real, then why should it matter? But the smile comes and I let out a quiet chuckle.

"Do you know anything about me?" My voice comes out as a whisper and he looks down into my eyes. He shakes his head and I sigh. He drops his hands from my face.

"But I want to," he says. "There's something…_here_. I don't know if you feel it, but it's here. And It's strong."

I bring my hands to my face to wipe my cheeks dry. I nod. "Yeah, I feel it," I say. Because I do…but not for the same reasons as him. He doesn't know me…but maybe it's in there somewhere. Maybe if given enough time, he'll remember something.

"So…what now?" I ask. "You're with Christina and—"

He shakes his head. "Don't worry about Christina," he says. "I'll take care of it. But what you and I _need_ to worry about is making sure that Peter doesn't try this again." He gestures to my neck and I lift a hand, it's already starting to scar. At least it's not bleeding anymore. I nod.

"I probably won't be sleeping for a while," I say shaking my head.

"No, you will," Tobias tells me. "You'll sleep in my room and I'll sleep on the floor."

"No, I can't…"

He narrows his eyes at me. "I'm not arguing about this. If Peter wants to continue to be a coward and try to come after you, I'm _going_ to take care of him."

I nod. "We can share the bed," I say. "You don't need to sleep on the floor."

He looks up at me and the corner of his mouth twitches up again. He nods. "Okay," he says.

I can't help but smile at him. "I gotta go get this cleaned up," I say. "But I'll meet you back down here?"

He nods. "Yeah, we're going to start with some hand to hand combat when they get back. You up to fighting me?" he asks me with a grin.

I smirk. "I think I can handle myself."

"I thought that's what you'd say."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I had to repost this because I had to fix some things. Sorry!**

By the time I make it back down to the Pit, the initiates are all circled around the mat and Tobias is demonstrating with Zeke. The sight of him makes my heart hurt as I think about Uriah and losing him. I was the only one who knows about Uriah. He is part of the past that never existed within the walls of this compound. I slow down as I approach them so that I can admire the way the two of them fight together. Zeke is talented, fast, and strong, but Tobias is like a machine. A very strong, very fast machine. He knows when to move, when the pause and when to strike. I might have told him that I could handle myself, but watching him in action makes me rethink my words. Watching them makes me think back to the first time I saw him fight, he went after Peter, Al and Drew the night they tried to throw me into the chasm.

I approach the group and stand next to the transfer from Erudite who is looking at the two men fight in pure awe, and I don't blame her. "He's amazing," she whispers and then she looks up at me, a little bit embarrsased that I had heard her.

I shake my head and smile at her. "No, I totally understand," I say as Tobias flips Zeke over his shoulder and down onto the mat. They're both laughing as Tobias helps Zeke to his feet. "He's pretty amazing."

"Thanks for the demonstration," he says nodding at Zeke

Zeke grins. "I had fun," he answers. "Even though you kicked my ass."

"I always do," he says before turning to the group. Zeke grins at me and I nod at him before he leaves. Maybe our relationship isn't as broken as I think it is. I'll have to get more information from Tobias first. "All right…so that was hand to hand combat. Tris, you want to come up here?"

I look up at him and nod, making my way up slowly to the mat. He steps aside and I turn to look at the group. "When you're fighting someone, you can't let your hands fall. You always have to make sure that you're quick on your feet, but if you're not paying attention, even for just a moment…" I can't continue speaking as Tobias comes behind me and I am flipped onto my back. I groan as I lay there, shaking my head.

"You'll be flipped on your ass," Tobias says. He offers me a hand I take it, standing up. "Pair up and work on the hand movements I showed you earlier. Then we'll start with the fighting."

He turns to look at me as the initiates turn to each other and began practicing. I feel like they're going to be okay. They're going to do better than I did. They were obedient. "You okay?" he asks.

I nod, stretching my arms over my head. "I'm good," I tell him. "It's not the first time I've been thrown on my ass."

He grins and moves to stand next to me. "I went easy on you."

I narrow my eyes and look at him. "Don't ever go easy on me," I say. "I can handle myself."

"I know you—"

"No you don't," I interrupt him. I lift my shoulders in a shrug. "And I'm fine with that because I love you." It comes out in a whisper. "And I know that somewhere deep down you love me."

He stares at me and reaches his hand over, brushing his hand against my own. He pulls his hand away and I bite down on my lower lip to keep myself from smiling. "We'll get there," he says.

"I look forward to it."

When we finished for the day, I left the Pit and headed up to my room to go shower. Even if I was to be leaving this room, this room that I didn't remember, I was a little disappointed to leave it. I hadn't had a room that felt so much like mine since back at Abnegation. And even then, the room didn't really feel like my own. I shut the door behind me and stripped from the clothes and headed to the bathroom to shower. I let the water wash away the dirt from the day, and ran my fingers through my hair and felt a stinging sensation on my side. I look down and run my fingers over the developing scars. How long ago had this happened really? If this was supposed to be nearly a year later, then where had these scars come from it not from being shot at?

I grab the soap and run it over the stiches, making sure that I keep them clean before I get finish up turn the shower off. Once the water stops, I hear the door close. This makes me nervous. I hadn't expected anyone to come in uninvited, and partially think that it's Peter coming to finish what he started back in the Pit. I get out of the shower and wrap my towel around me.

"Hello?" I make my way back into the room and stop when I see Christina. I swallow and force a smile. I was still a little guilty about what was happening with Tobias. Did it mean I could feel any _less_ guilty when I was the one who was with him first? "Oh. Hey. What's up?"

"I heard something earlier," she said not smiling at me and turning away. She goes over to the bookshelf and begins going through my things. I don't stop her.

"What is it?"

Her hand pauses before she turns to look at me. "You're kidding, right?"

I run my fingers through my wet hair and out of my face. I pull the towel closer to me. "I don't know what you're talking about, Chris."

She shakes her head at me. "What's going on with you, Tris?" she asked. "Why are you keeping secrets from me?"

I let out a sigh. So she must have found out about Tobias. I don't know what Tobias had said to her. He told me that he was going to take care of it. And he had and now she was pissed. I couldn't blame her, really. "Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to find out like this…I wanted to tell you but…"

"Why didn't you tell me that Peter attacked you today?"

Oh. So she didn't know about Tobias. That was good. I sigh. "Because it wasn't a big deal," I lie before turning from her and heading to the closet to grab my clothes. I stepped into the closet and let the door cover be before pulling my clothes on.

"Not a big deal?" she asks me, surprise hinted in her voice. "Are you kidding? He almost killed you! If Four hadn't…"

I peek out from behind the door. "I could have taken care of it," I say. "I'm strong enough not to let some guy push me around."

"I know," Christina says. "But if Four hadn't come around you could have been seriously injured."

I sigh and go back out into the room and sit down on the bed. "Chris, I promise, I'm okay," I tell her. "I'm just a little tired."

"Tired?" she asks." But we were going to go get tattoos!"

I make a face. "I don't know what I want yet," I say. "I'll go another day."

"I'll go next time," I say. "I promise."

She smiles at me and heads for the door. "Okay, but make sure you keep a look out because I hear that Peter's pissed about what went down." I scoff. "Yeah I know, he doesn't have a right to be pissed. He's a dick, always has been."

I nod and she turns to open the door and Tobias is standing behind it, about to knock. My eyes widen as his do too, I am worried about her reaction, but she doesn't say anything about him being there. "Hey," she says. "Are you going to come with us to get tattoos?" she asks.

He smiles and shakes his head. "No I think I'm just going to get some rest tonight. First day training kind of wipes me out."

She groans. "You two are perfect together," she says. "Staying in all night when there's fun to be had."

I try not to react as she talks about us, so I just smile. She's right though. We _are_ perfect together.

"Next time," Tobias tells Christina.

She smiles at him and stands on her toes pressing her lips to his. I turn my head from them with a pang of jealousy in my gut. I sigh as I hear her say, "I'll see you later."

I take a breath and can't help but feel angry. Even though I know there's nothing I can do about it. Tobias doesn't know what I know…and he doesn't feel what I feel. The door closes and I sigh, closing my eyes.

"Tris." His voice is soft and full of apology and I turn back to look at him.

"Hey."

He comes toward me and sits next to me on the bed. "I obviously haven't spoken to her yet."

I laugh and shake my head. "Obviously."

"But that doesn't mean I don't care about you."

"You don't even know me."

"Stop saying that," he says.

"What?" I ask. "It's true."

"It doesn't matter if I know you or not," Tobias says. "I may not really know _you_, this person that you are, but I do _care_ about you. I told you. There's something here and I'm not fighting it, so neither should you."

I sigh, but nod. "Fine," I say. "I'll try to stop being such a pessimist."

He grins at me. "Good." He pulls me in and presses a kiss to my cheek and I can't help but smile. "Now pack a bag so that we can get going."

I nod and I get up heading back to the closet and packing up some of my clothes. "What do you think will happen if Christina shows up randomly to your room and catches me?"

I hear him chuckle and I turn around in time to see him shake his head. "She won't."

"How can you be sure?" I ask as I turn back around to pack more clothes into the bag.

"Because I never showed Christina my room."

I finish and close the bag before turning to look at him. "Seriously?" I ask.

"Seriously."

I smile. "Can I ask why?"

"Because I didn't think we were serious enough for her to know where I sleep."

I pull the bag over my shoulder. "Then let's go."


	7. Chapter 7

I follow Tobias up the stairs to his room and even though I've been here before, many times, _this_ version of him has never taken me here. I wonder if it makes him nervous…bringing me up here. I keep telling him that he doesn't know me and maybe that's one of the reasons that he won't remember me. I keep pushing the idea that he has no idea who I am. Will it help if I let my guard down and let him actually get to know me? Because maybe if he gets to know me then maybe I can let myself go. Is it possible that he's a different person than I know he is? Is it possible that I'm the one in the wrong here and that maybe none of this has actually happened for me?

That can't be. Because I remember everything so vividly. Everything that has happened to me…to us…it's so clear in my mind. And if the memories that I have were implanted in me, what would be the reason for it? What would be the reason for me to suffer? To not be happy? There's no way. This is David's fault, I'm sure of it. I can't give up now. I can't just sit back and let things play out this way. I want my life back. I want Tobias back. I need him here with me because I can't do this on my own.

He turns back to look at me offers me a smile as he opens the door. "I don't ever have people over," he tells me. "So I apologize if it's kind of a mess."

I shake my head as I walk past him into the room and I set my bag down on the floor. Everything was just like I remembered. He was the same, which meant that I didn't have that to worry about. I turn to look at him, a smile on my lips. "No, it's great," I tell him. "Just like I remember."

"You've been here before?" There is a hint of surprise in his voice.

I nod. "There's not a lot that I don't know about you, Tobias."

He watches me for a moment and the muscle in his lip twitches up. I walk through the room to the bed and sit down on it, brushing my hair out of my face. I take a breath. "The group is looking pretty good," I say. "Don't you think?"

He nods at my question and walks over to his lockers before shrugging off his jacket and hanging it up. I can't keep my eyes off of him. I watch as he pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it into the basket that's meant for laundry. I bite my lower lip as I get up and cross to him, running my fingers down his back, looking at his tattoos, rememorizing the way they spread out across his back. He stiffens at the touch and I pull my hand away. He shakes his head. "Don't," he says. I look up to meet his eyes.

I nod and return my hand to him, letting my fingers run over the different faction tattoos. "How did you know?" I ask.

"How did I know what?"

"That you could show me these?"

His shoulders lift in a shrug and I watch his face. He turns around and looks down at me. My heart beats a little bit faster in my chest and I swallow, suddenly nervous. But this is Tobias. I shouldn't be nervous. He lifts his hand and brushes it across my cheek. "Because I trust you."

I nod, even though what he said wasn't really a question. He smiles at me and I smile back before going to grab my bag from over by the door and I pull my night shirt out. I go into his bathroom to change, pulling the shirt over my figure before heading back out. I put my clothes back in the bag and turn to find Tobias staring at me. I blush because I realize how little I'm wearing, and I didn't even think about it. "Sorry," I say, my voice quiet as I move to the bed and get under the blanket. I lay down and take a breath, nervous. At least now the blanket is covering me so I don't have that to worry about.

After a few moments, he comes to join me on the bed and the only thing that I can think about is the space between us and the heat radiating from both our bodies. I can't stop myself from the sensation running through my body, the heat, the tingling. I feel his hand move and he takes mine in his, lacing our fingers together under the blanket. I turn to look at him and he's watching me, with that half smile on his face.

"I don't want you to feel like I'm ever pushing you," I say, my voice quiet.

He squeezes my hand. "I don't," he tells me.

"Good," I tell him as I bite my lip. His hand on mine is comforting and it makes me smile. I let out a breath. "I may not have been away too long, in my reality, but I really missed you."

He smiles back at me. "I'm right here, Tris," he says. "And I'm not going anywhere."

I nod and close my eyes, just wanting to enjoy the moment. I feel his hand on my cheek so I open my eyes. He's moved closer to me my breath hitches in my throat and he stares into my eyes. I can't breathe, I can't move, I can't do anything but stare into those dark blue eyes of his. I swallow past the lump in my throat and take a breath. "You promise?"

He nods and I let the breath go. "I promise."

I don't care about space or anything. I move in and rest my head against his chest. I take in his scent and feel a sense of calm run through me. His arms wrap around my waist and he pulls me against him. I hold onto his arms and I don't ever want to let go. He rests his head against mine and I close my eyes, feeling better than I had in the last twenty-four hours. His lips press to my forehead and I let out a sigh, a smile on my lips, though he can't see it.

"I think maybe tomorrow we should play capture the flag," Tobias says. "But I don't know if we should trust them with guns yet, even if they're just sim darts."

I bite my lip, thinking. "I think we should give them a little more training," I say. "The hand to hand we just started and from what I saw, it looked a little sloppy."

"Agreed," he said. "I kind of just wanted to see what you meant by Ferris Wheel."

I pull away so that I can look up at him. "What?"

"You said something about the Ferris Wheel yesterday, so I assumed that maybe if we went back, something might click. I might remember something."

I shake my head. "You would _willingly_ climb the Ferris Wheel?" I ask him.

"For you? Yeah of course."

I smile at him and resist the urge to kiss him. Instead I move in and press my lips to his cheek. Safe. Easy. Simple.

"Is that so surprising?" he asks me.

"No, actually it's not."

"Then don't act surprised," he tells me as he squeezes my sides gently. I move against him, a soft laugh slipping through my lips and he grins at me. "How didn't I notice you before? How didn't I notice you?" he asks, brushing my hair behind my ear. "In this life; in this time?"

I shrug because I don't have the answer to that. I don't know why…I don't know anything about what's going on here, except that I want to try to get things back to normal. I want to get things back to the way they were when it was me and Tobias. "it doesn't matter," I tell him. "Because you notice me now."

Tobias nods leans in, his forehead pressing against mine. "I see you."


	8. Chapter 8

I don't know what time is it when I wake up, but Tobias' arm is wrapped fully around me and I couldn't move even if I wanted to. And I don't. Because right now, in this moment, it doesn't feel any different than it was before. I don't have to worry about Tobias not knowing who I am or what we have together. But then reality sets in and I know where I am, and I know he doesn't remember. I pick his arm up so that I can climb out of the bed. I grab my clothes from the bag near the door and take them into the bathroom so that I can change. When I am done, I take some of the toothpaste that is on the sink and put it on my finger, using it to brush my teeth. I make a mental note to grab my toothbrush when I come back later. _If_ I come back. I probably shouldn't, given the circumstances. Sure, Peter probably wants to kill me, and he definitely can if he puts enough effort into the act, but does that give me the right to sleep with someone else's boyfriend? Granted, we _had _only been sleeping, and their entire relationship was a sham, but to Christina, who doesn't know any better, it's real. All of it is real. She doesn't know. She has no idea. And that makes me a bad friend.

I rinse my mouth out and dry my hands on the towel by door before leaving. Tobias is still sleeping. That's a good sign. I stop and watch him for a moment and comtemplate not leaving, but my better judgment wins out. I pack my night shirt in the bag before picking it up along with my shoes before leaving the room. I drop the bag off in my own room, which surprisingly looks untouched, as I had expected Peter to come looking. I shut the door before heading down to the Pit. I catch the clock as I leave, noting that I have about an hour before the group will start to show up. Which means I have about an hour to just deal with myself. And I have a lot of shit that I have to deal with.

When I get back to the pit, I set up the speakers to that the music is blasting, but not loud enough to send it up to the rooms. I stretch before I take off and run the entire length of the Pit two and a half times before I have to stop, my side starts to hurt and I walk over to the water station to fill a cup. I down it before refilling it and i move to go sit down next against the wall so that I can relax for a few moments at least before people start filing in. I close my eyes and take the time to try to catch my breath when I hear footsteps come . My eyes shoot open, ever since yesterday, I'm now terrified of Peter more than ever. If I am alone and I can't handle myself, then I'll most likely die. But instead I see…no…that's not even possible. This has to be a dream.

"Uriah?" I ask. I can't keep the shock out of my voice. Because coming toward me is real life, healthy, Uriah, with a grin on his face and I feel my chest begin to tighten. This can't be real. I look around to see if anyone else sees him, but I am by myself down here.

"Hey," he says with a grin. "Sorry I missed you at dinner last night, I woke up in the infirmary with a killer headache." He chuckles as he moves to sit next to me. "And on my way down I heard about Peter." He gives me a look like I should have known better. And he'd be right. I _should_ have known better. I _would_ have known better…but given the circumstances, I didn't really have much of a choice.

I don't even know what to say at this point. I'm not even sure if I'm going crazy and this is a hallucination or if I'm dreaming. Because it _cannot_ be real. David can't bring people back to life, right? _Right? _I swallow past the lump in my throat and I force a smile onto my lips. "Hey," I say. My voice comes out a bit shaky and I try to keep it even, I will not be able to give an explanation for my behavior. "Yeah…he's crazy."

"Didn't we figure that out last year?"

I nod. "Yeah," I say.

"I don't know what you see in him," Uriah tells me.

I shake my head and lift my shoulders. "Neither do I," I answer with a laugh.

He grins at me. "Though you and Tobias…"

"What?" I ask, maybe a little too quickly.

"You guys had a chemistry last year…I don't know what happened."

I look at him, shaking my head slowly because as far as I'm concerened, last year didn't go the way I remember. Everyone remembers different things. I wasn't the same person I was last year, and the fact that Uriah is here…it makes sense that he remembers. Because he can't really be here. This conversation isn't real. Maybe I'm in pain or something. I don't know. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh come on," he says. "You know you kind of blew everyone's mind when you kissed him after initiation. But I don't know how things fell apart so quickly for you."

Uriah's reality…is _my_ reality. I take a breath and turn toward him. "Uriah, what's the last thing that you remember…before waking up, I mean."

He narrows his eyes in concentration, in thought and then he makes a face. "An explosion of some sort…at the…where were we? We weren't here, were we?" He looks around the Pit and sighs. "Nah, we weren't here."

I stare at him, my mouth slightly open as I try to process what's going on. I thought I was alone. I thought I was…wait. No. Like I said. This could still all be a dream. This could be all pretend. This could be…

"Uriah!" Tobias' voice calls from the other side of the room. I feel dizzy now. It's a good thing I'm sitting. "Hey man," he says when he gets close enough to us. He looks down at me curiously, probably upset that I left without him or something, I don't know what goes on inside of his head. Not anymore. "Looks like you finally made it out of the infirmary," he says, looking back at Uriah. "How do you feel?"

"I've got a headache, but that's what the pills are for, right?" he grins at me before getting up.

Tobias can see Uriah. Tobias can _see_ Uriah. I'm not crazy. I'm not dreaming. But if it's neither of those things, then what the hell could it be? As far as I knew, there was no bringing people back to life. If there had been, David probably would have used the technology to bring my mother back to life. Not that she would have stayed with him. That, I'm sure of. I swallow and get to my feet and stretch out. I finish off the water and I toss the cup in the trash.

"I'm gonna let you guys get to training," Uriah says, nodding his head as the group of initiates file in. I look up at the clock. Two minutes before they're supposed to be here. To a Dauntless, that's just not good enough."See you later?" he asks, looking at me and I nod. Because he and I need to talk. I wonder if it's him. I wonder if there's anyone else that's coming back. I don't know why they're here, but I'm going to try to figure it out. Because if they're back and they remember…then does that mean that there's a chance of getting Tobias to remember?

After Uriah leaves, Tobias turns to me and we start walking toward the group. "Why'd you leave so early?" He asks me, his voice low.

"It was only an hour," I say, dodging the question.

"Okay then let me rephrase. "Why didn't you wake me and why is your bag gone?"

I swallow, taking my time before answering. I knew he wouldn't' have missed that. "Because it's better this way."

"What way? You keeping secrets from me?"

"Everything about me is a secret to you," I hiss back at him.

He lets out a breath and I know he's mad. "You really gotta stop doing that, "he says. "You gotta trust me, Tris. I'm not going anywhere, no matter how hard you push me away."

"And why is that?"

"I told you. There's something here. And you…you've infected me and I can't get rid of you even If I wanted do, which I don't. I can't _not_ be involved with you."

I clench my jaw. He's right. I try to run and he'll find me. I try to keep my distance and I keep getting pulled back in. There's no escaping the way that he makes me feel. As much as I try to do the right thing here, I _can't_ not be with him. "Okay."

"Okay?" he asks. "Okay, you're going to stop trying to push me away?"

I nod. "Okay," I tell him. "But you're going to have to tell Christina. I can't do this to her."

Tobias nods. "it'll be done today," he tells me. "And your bag better be back in our room."

_Our_ room. I can't stop the smile and I nod before turning to ace the group. "You guys are late."

"Late?" an Candor boy asks. "We're right on time."

"Sure," Tobias says, following my lead. "But on time is late. You need to be here five minutes early. Because if something goes now and you were taking your time, because you thought you had a few extra minutes, that's on you. You lose half your team in those few minutes."

They stare at us. I don't have a doubt that they'll be early tomorrow. Which means I'll have to show up earlier if I want to get some training of my own done. "Laps," I yell out. "Go!"


	9. Chapter 9

After morning training, we leave the pit and head into the cafeteria for lunch. It's busy and crowded and my eyes look for Christina. She's already sitting down and eating. I feel a little bad that I don't even know what her job is. Everyone has a job…so what is it that she does with her time? I'll have to ask her later…unless she's too angry with me later. Tobias is behind me and he places a hand on my back ushering me forward, to the table Christina is at and I swallow, nervous. I sit down next to her. "Hey Chris," I say offering a smile before turning to my food. Tobias sits on the other side of us and I wish desperately that this situation isn't what it is, but there's nothing I can do about it. She doesn't know, and she thinks that everything is okay. The friendship that is between us, even though I'm not sure how to describe it, is going to be shaky. And right now I need as many allies as I can get. I don't know how far this is all going to escalate so I need people on my side.

"Hey," Christina says. "Exciting news about Uriah waking up, huh?"

I feel my jaw clench at the mention of Uriah. I still don't know why he's here…or how. But I'm going to try to figure it out later, if I have an opportunity. Tobias notices the muscle spasm and his eyes narrow, but I shake my head, not wanting to get into it. I'm not even sure how to explain it to him. And if I tell that he was the cause of Uriah's death, it would probably affect him that it did the first time. Things were different now, I knew that before, but now it's even worse considering Uriah was back. Back and alive, that is. It's strange, and even though I've only been here for two days, I still don't understand anything that's going on.

"Definitely," Tobias answers, because obviously the lull in silence was overwhelming. I had been too wrapped up in my thoughts of conspiracy that I hadn't even noticed that I hadn't answered Christina's question. I need to work on that….the whole not paying attention thing. It would prove to be very dangerous here…for me…for everyone.

"You okay?" she asks me as she chews on a piece of chicken.

I nod. "Oh yeah," I say. "Everything's fine."

She stares at me. "You've been acting super weird lately," she tells me.

I shrug as I cut a piece of chicken before taking a bite. "I don't have an explanation," I tell her. I feel Tobias looking between the two of us and I'm sure to not look at him, not to make what's coming any harder than it has to be.

"Is it because of Peter?" she asks me, resting a hand on my arm.

I look at her surprised. "What?" Peter hadn't even crossed my mind. Well he had, but not to the point where he would even warrant this kind of reaction from me. The old Tris, the one that I didn't know, probably would have. But this is me now. I am in control of this life. I am a completely different person. "No, no of course not."

"Are you sure? Because if it was me, I would totally be the same way."

"It's not!" I snap at her. She pulls away from me like I've burned her and I close my eyes, taking a deep breath. The cafeteria has gone quiet and I feel people staring at us. I set my fork down and shake my head. "I'm sorry," I tell her before getting up and leaving the room. I need to get ahold of myself. I need to relax and keep things going as best I can. I have to keep it together.

I make it down the hallway and instead of going back to the room like I have originally planned in my escape I go down to the pit. I put some chalk on my firsts before I walk over to the punching bags and I honestly can't tell you how long I was there before my knuckles started bleeding and I couldn't see anymore because I had also started crying. It wasn't Dauntless of me to cry. But maybe this was me letting my Abnegation through. I grab onto the bag and it's the only thing that keeps me up.

After a few moments, someone comes and unhooks my arms from the bag and I collapse against them and we go to the floor. At this point, I don't even care who it is. I haven't stopped crying, but I'd know his scent anywhere. He doesn't say anything, he doesn't have to, or maybe he just doesn't know what to say. But his arms are around me and I'm crying into his sweater and we don't speak.

I'm not sure how long we sit like that, but I run out of tears and I'm worried that he'll ask me why I was trying because I don't really have a logical explanation for it. At least I don't have one that's going to make any sense to anyone but me…and maybe Uriah. Even then, it's still kind of bare. I pull away and he wipes my cheeks with the sleeve of his sweater.

"You good?" he asks me. "You okay?"

I nod and smile at him. "Thank you," I tell him.

He looks at me like it's ludicrous that I'm thanking him. "Of course," He says pulling me to him and pressing his lips to my forehead. He wraps his arms around me and I breathe him, his scent relaxing me. He helps me to my feet and I look around the empty pit.

"Where's the group?" I ask.

"I sent them with Lauren for a bit," Tobias answers. "She didn't mind."

"I feel so bad about what happened," I say. "Christina must hate me."

"She kind of hates us both right now."

I look at him, surprised. "You told her?"

He nods. "I had to. I couldn't just leave it like that," he says. "I saw that you weren't okay with it…my attention until I broke things off," he sighs. "I was going to go after you, like I did the other night, and I would have been here sooner if she hadn't stopped me., and she asked me why it was _me_ that was going after you. She kept asking questions and wouldn't stop, so I told her. She was angry of course, but I think she'll get over it…in time."

I nod. "Thank you."

He smiles at me. "Are you okay though? _Really_ okay?"

"Honestly?" I ask. He nods. "I have no idea yet. But I'm working on it. And when I'm okay, you'll be the first to know, I promise."

He grins. "Good."

"So Lauren's got them on the roof shooting guns…so I'm thinking that we should probably go and get them before one of them shoots an appendage," Tobias says with a grin.

I laugh. I actually wouldn't be surprised."

"A laugh," he says brushing his hand across my cheek. "I'm glad."

I look up at him. I want to tell him that I love him, but I can't. It's too early. It's too soon. So instead I smile and I kiss his cheek. "Thank you," I tell him again. "Really."

"I'd do anything for you, Tris."

He looks down at me and smiles at me, his eyes searching my face for what, I have no idea. So I nod in response. "I know."


	10. Chapter 10

After, I go to the bathroom to wash my face to erase the remnants of my tears. I don't want the group to see me like that. It was hard enough to let _this_ Tobias see me like that. And even though he didn't know me, he didn't judge me. After I dry my face, I look at myself in the mirror and I make sure that I look okay enough to go back out. And that's when I notice Christina. She's standing by the door and I feel my heart start to beat a little faster in my chest. She's scowling at me and I know that this is not a social call. And then I realize it. I'm now scared of Christina and what she could do to me. I may be taller than her, and quite a bit stronger, but I'm scared. Ever since coming back here, to Dauntless, to this life, because of everything that I'm so unsure of, I don't know what to expect…and it terrifies me. The people that I thought I could trust…they're gone. They're all gone now.

"How could you?"

I let out a breath and close my eyes shaking my head. I don't know what to say…I don't know how to explain myself. She won't believe me if I try. It sounds crazy even to me, and I'm lucky that Tobias even trusts me enough to believe it. I turn to look at her. "You don't understand, Christina…'

"You're right," she snaps at me. "I _don't_ understand. I thought we were friends."

"We are friends," I tell her. "I wouldn't do this to you if I didn't have a good reason. It's just really complicated."

"I can keep up," she says.

"You're not going to believe me."

"Try me," she says, narrowing her eyes at me.

I lick my lips and look away from her. "When I woke up in the infirmary the other day, that isn't the last thing I remember."

"What do you mean?"

"I was…_we_ had left the city. You, me, Tobias, Caleb, Peter-"

"_Peter_?"

I nod. "Yeah, Peter," I say. "And we found this place…or rather they found us. It's way too complicated to try to explain to you right now, but something's happened…something's messed with our memories and I partially feel like I'm in a sim right now because this isn't my life."

She's staring at me like I'm crazy, and I don't blame her. "Okay…" she says slowly.

"And Tobias and I are together. We're _supposed_ to be together. Ever since last year. He and I…we…we just _connected_ and I hate that I'm doing this to you, but it's just not real."

The scowl is back on her face. "How do you know that _your_ reality isn't real? That _your_ memories are the sim? Because as far as I know, you hit your head when you went into the infirmary and you've created some alternate universe where you get what you want. You've always been jealous of me anyway, so why not come up with a story to steal my boyfriend?"

I gape at her. "Are you serious right now?" I ask her. "What about me says that I'm jealous of you? Or of anyone for that matter?"

"Please," she says rolling her eyes. "You're a Stiff. Who _aren't_ you jealous of?"

I scoff and I nod slowly, surprised that this is the person that memory serum has turned her into. Memory serum takes what makes a person themselves, and wipes it clean. The Christina that I once knew is gone. I have no idea who this is standing in front of me, looking like she's disgusted with me; by my choices. "All right then," I say. "Fine. You can think whatever you want of me and whatever you want of my actions, but if this is who you are, then you can stay the hell away from me."

She just stares at me, glaring. I want to give her a chance to speak, a chance to let the information sink it, and I know that it's hard, it's so farfetched, but I want it. I want my best friend back. I look at her for a second, to see if there's a glimpse of her somewhere deep inside and all I see staring back at me is an empty girl who has no idea who I really am. So I go. I push past her, half expecting her to grab me or come after me, but she doesn't. And that makes me think something worse will come later. I know that I have to try to not let it get to me, but lately, everything has been working its way it and I'm slowly unraveling…slowly reaching my breaking point.

I must look flushed or aggravated or something because when I make it back because when Tobias sees me, his eyebrows furrow in confusion and I can see the question on his lips, but I shake my head. I'll tell him later…or I won't tell him at all. Because I don't want him worrying about me more than he already does. It just isn't fair to him. I turn to the group and I bite my lip.

"I know Lauren was teaching you guys on the roof with the guns and everything, but I think we should focus a little more on hand to hand combat," I say. "From what I saw yesterday, you guys have a long way to go."

They look at me, with their eyes narrowed in offense, like they can't believe what I've said to them. At the moment, I am too annoyed to care.

"Did I hurt your feelings?" I ask, shaking my head. "Toughen up you guys. This is Dauntless and you have to be strong." I hop down from the platform and head to the fighting mat. "A year ago, I was where you are now. I was ranked in last place and I didn't think that I would make it. I wasn't strong. I was the weakest one. But then I got stronger…I trained, relentlessly, and I got my ass kicked on this very mat. I had a concussion and I was out for nearly an entire day." I take a break to look over at Tobias who is smiling. I don't know how it went down for him, but I'm telling it my way. I can't help but smile as I think back and turn my attention back to the group. "But I got up and I got better. And Four, he's the best there is. I'm just the lucky girl who got chosen to train with him."

I see Tobias move out of the corner of my eye and he comes up next to me on the mat. I look at him as he speaks. Watching him speak is kind of dazzling…and amazing. It's hard not to pay attention to him. "Now you're all here because you chose to be here," Tobias says. "And when you're done with initiation, you'll be given jobs. And some of you will be given the job to protect the gates to the city, to protect us from what's outside them."

"Is there really anything outside the gates?" A Candor boy asks.

"Not that we know of," Tobias says. "But just in case there is something out there, we'll need to be ready."

I swallow my response and I take a breath, before nodding. "Pair up, you guys," I say clearing my throat. "And then in about half an hour we'll pair you guys up and you'll have to fight. It doesn't matter that you guys are friends, you'll need to fight and you'll need to make it good."

"Good?'

"You need to fight like you mean it," Tobias said. "Like your life depends on it."

"When do we stop?"

"Until we can't go on?"

"Until one of you concedes," Tobias says. "That used to be how it was before, but now it's if one of you concedes."

I look at Tobias and smile. "Try not to kill each other."


	11. Chapter 11

After we're finished for the day, we start cleaning up the Pit and Tobias comes over to me. I know that I'm not in the clear after the way he looked at me when I came back from the bathrooms earlier. He still remembers like I still remember and so I know he's going to ask me about it. So I do what I've done the past couple of days, and avoid his gaze as I pull the knives from the box. I don't want to leave quite yet, and I figure throwing blades will help distract me a little bit from the conversation that's about to happen. He steps toward me and I move away and head toward the targets. He chuckles and I hear him grabbing his own set of blades before following me. I throw the first blade and it hits the heart.

"So you want to tell me what happened or are we going to have to play twenty questions?" He looks at me before throwing his own blade.

I take a breath before answering. "Christina came to see me," I say throwing another knife.

"She did?" he sounds surprised. I wonder why, because with this Christina, I'm not surprised she reacted that way. "What did she say?"

"Mostly that I was crazy."

"Why would she—" Tobias stops. "Did you tell her?"

I bite my lip and then lift my shoulders in a shrug. "I thought that she would understand!"

He sighs. "Tris, what you know…it's hard to believe. I believe it because I trust you, but Christina…and anyone else, it's complicated."

"I know," I say shaking my head as I walk toward the target to pull out my blades. I flip one in my hand as I walk back toward him. "I was desperate, I guess. For her to know who I am. To remember something…anything. I thought we were closer than that," I look up at him. "It's weird being here…like this; this situation. Where I'm the only one who knows what's happened." Well, the only one besides Uriah, but it seems to me that no one else knows that Uriah had died, except for Uriah…and me of course, but still. I make a mental note to talk to him later because if I don't, and I let it stew any longer than it already is, I'll drive myself crazy. I don't know what Uriah is doing here, but I do know that if I get things back to the way they were, then he's not going to be here. And I can't lose him again; I can't let Tobias go through that guilt more than he already has. It wouldn't be fair.

He nods at me and walks toward me, brushing a hand down my cheek. "I know," he says. "But you'll get through it."

"How can you know that?" I ask him.

"Because you've got me."

I glance at him and he's wearing that half smile on his lips and I can't help but match it. That smile has always been a weakness of mine and I feel like a part of him knows this. Or he's caught on to it…which shouldn't be hard considering the way that he's probably seen the way that I look at him. I think everyone has seen the way that I look at him. I don't attempt to hide it…there's not really a reason to…not anymore.

"Well that's a relief," I say, my voice half teasing, half serious. I am not afraid of him not being there for me. I am afraid of not being enough for him. Not being enough for this game, this life, this _choice_. Everything is different…even the way that I love Tobias is different. I don't take it for granted now. There's too much at stake and there's too much that I'd be risking if I didn't love him the way that he deserves. This is Tobias Eaton…this is the man who has saved my life more times than I can count. I owe everything to him and he deserves to know that…if at least for a little while. However long this sim lasts, I need to be there for him. I need to be his.

He tugs my arm and pulls me against him. My heartbeat picks up speed in my chest and my eyes look up into his. I swallow, licking my lips nervously. I can feel his heart beating against my chest; our bodies are so closely pressed together. I can't find the words to say…I wouldn't even know what to say anyway, I'm so nervous. He grins at me and I hear the knives clatter to the floor. I couldn't tell you if they were mine or if they were his. He puts one hand on my waist as his other hand moves to lift my chin up to look down at me.

"Are you nervous?" he asks looking at me.

The feeling of his fingers on my skin sends shivers and heat simultaneously though my body. I shake my head at his question and I take in a breath, inhaling his scent, everything that makes him who he is. _This_ is who he is to me. He's everything to me and I love him. "No," I tell him. "I'm not."

"Good," he smiles before leaning down to kiss me.

I am not prepared for the way this feels. It spreads through my entire body and it's like an electric shock straight to my toes. It is like the first time I kissed him. I pull my hand from his as I wrap my arms around his neck, kissing him back eagerly. His hands move to my waist and he pulls me against him. I sigh as I part my lips against his and he pulls away. I am breathless as he rests his head against my own. I am hanging onto him because I'm afraid to let him go. I am partially afraid that this may be a dream.

I open my eyes and looks up at him and see that he's looking down at him. The look is one that I recognize. He's looking into me, looking into my soul. This would be a perfect time to tell him that I love him, but I can't bring myself to say it. Not yet…not now. I don't want to move too fast with him, I don't want to scare him away. I kiss him again before I pull away from him to pick up the knives.

"What do you say we go and get tattoos tonight?" Tobias says bending down to pick up his fallen blades. I walk over to the table to put the blades in their containers. He comes up behind me and I hand him the box.

I lift my shoulders in a shrug. "I wouldn't even know what to get," I tell him.

He looks at me and brushes his fingertips over the birds on my collarbone. "I'm sure you'll find something," he says.

I watch his hand as it brushes over my skin and I lick my lips before looking back up at him. "Yeah, okay," I say putting the lid on the container of knives and setting it back down on the table.

He holds out a hand I take it, lacing my fingers with his as we making our way out of the Pit and up the steps toward the tattoo shop. The feel of his hand in mind is comforting and I'm glad that I have him here with him…someone to lean on. It makes this easier than it would have been if I had to go it alone. We reach the top and we walk into the red lit room with the music blasting and it feels like home to me. We walk over to the wall that holds the tattoo designs and I let go of Tobias' hand so that I can walk around the wall to look at them all. I pull one out that is a series of vines that I want to get wrapped around my ankle and I turn to find the Dauntless worker and I stop in my tracks when I see them.

She comes toward me, her dark hair up in a half ponytail and I feel my heart stop in my chest. I stare at her with shock on my face and she smiles at me, that knowing smile on her lips.

"Hello, Tris," Tori says.


	12. Chapter 12

I don't understand what's going on. First I wake up back in the Dauntless compound and no one but me has any ideas what's gone on in the last year and then it was Uriah coming back to life. And now Tori? This doesn't make any sense to me. I don't understand anything. I feel like I'm slowly losing my mind or something. This is real right? She's standing in front of me and there's explanation for it. So what the hell is going on?

"Tori," I say. My voice comes out like a squeak because now there's a giant lump in my throat and trying to speak past it is like trying to speak when you've lost your voice: nearly impossible. I lick my lips and try to swallow and I feel Tobias' hand squeeze my own and I look over at him.

"You okay?" he asks me.

I nod. I still haven't brought up Uriah having died with him, so I don't even know how to bring up Tori. I think that it's mostly because I don't have an explanation. "I'm good," I say taking a breath. I look back at Tori, holding up the design for the tattoo that I want. "I'd like this one, please."

She smiles at me and holds out an arm t lead me to the chair and I pull my hand from Tobias'. I kiss his cheek. "See you soon," I tell him before following Tori to her workspace.

I sit down on the chair and play with my fingers before speaking, partially because I have no idea where to start or what to say. She doesn't speak either, but with Tori, I had to ask the questions for her to answer them. I bite my lip.

"How…"

"I don't know," she tells me, wrapping the tattoo around my ankle. "I woke up her a couple days ago, bandages wrapped around my torso and that was it. No explanation of how I got here. I just figured I'd go with the flow. Whatever is happening, is happening for a reason."

I feel my shoulders slump. So Tori doesn't know either. The one person that I thought would know everything doesn't know. People were coming back to life with no logical explanation. This was insane. There's nothing we can do. Or nothing that I can think of.

"Uriah came back too," I tell her.

She looks surprised. "He died too?" she asks me. "How?"

I shake my head. "It's a long story," I tell her. "But your brother…"

"What about my brother?" she asks me.

"He's alive," I say. "He faked his death."

She stares at me, her eyes wide. "Then where is he?"

"That's also a long story," I say, glancing behind me over at Tobias who is already done with his tattoo. I didn't pay attention to what he wanted to get done as I had been too preoccupied with Tori, but I'll probably see it later. "And we don't really have a lot of time right now to go over it."

"You'll come back though?" Tori says as she takes the wrap off of my ankle. I nod. "Good because we have a lot to discuss. And when you come, you'll need to bring Uriah."

"Of course," I tell her. I'm sure that Uriah will want answers too.

"Does he know?" she asks me nodding her head at Tobias.

I shake my head. "No. He's been infected as well."

"Why is it just you?"

"I have a theory about that," I tell her. "I just need more time."

"If people start coming back from the dead, you're not going to have a lot of it, Tris," Tori tells me. "You need to figure it out."

"I'm working on it. Or I'm trying." I swing my legs over the side of the chair and look at her. "I'll pick a time and we'll meet. You, me, and Uriah. Also I'm going to bring Tobias. I can't keep secrets from him."

"Even if he doesn't know who you are?"

"He doesn't care about that," I say.

"He must really love you."

I smile, because even after everything that's happened over the last couple of days, and even with Tobias not knowing who I am…he loves me. At least a small part of him does, anyway, otherwise I'm sure he wouldn't be putting up with me like this. If I was in his position, not knowing anything, I don't know if I could trust him blindly. Trust was a hard thing for me. I look back at him again and take a breath before turning back to Tori. "I'll see you soon," I tell her.

She smiles at me. "Be safe, Tris."

I hop off of the chair and walk toward Tobias who is grinning at me. I look at him curiously. "What'd you get?" I ask.

He doesn't say anything, instead just holds out his left arm. I look down and am surprised to see the raven that has been tattooed on his wrist. I look up at him, my eyes wide. "Is this..?"

He reaches out and touches the birds on my collarbone. "It signifies you," he says, taking his hand and brushing some loose stands of hair behind my ear.

Tori was right. He must really love me. I shake my head at him, not being able to wipe the smile from my lips, before grabbing his shirt and standing up on my toes to kiss him softly. I wonder if he knows how much that small bird means to me. I pull away and he's got that half smile on his lips and he takes my hand as we leave.

We make it back down to his room without incident, and I am still surprised that Peter or Christina haven't tried to start something with us. I wonder if I'll ever be able to relax and not keep a look out around every corner we pass. Maybe eventually enough time will pass and I won't be scared to walk these dark halls by myself. We're about to go in when I remember that I haven't grabbed my bag yet. "Oh shit," I say.

Tobias looks at me, worry on his face. "What's wrong?'

"I just forgot my bag is all," I tell him. "I don't have anything to sleep in."

He smiles at me and shrugs. "I've got a shirt you can borrow," he says opening the door.

I follow him into the room and nod. "Thanks," I tell him.

He shuts the door and unzip my jacket before moving to hang it up in one of the lockers. Tobias walks over to the dresser and pulls out a shirt before handing it to me. I bite my lower lip as I take it from him, I can feel my heart racing in my chest and I have no idea why. I don't know why I'm nervous. Maybe it's because he and I just had our first kiss earlier today. Well the first kiss that he remembers. I still have the memory of ours. I look out toward the doors leading outside and I feel a little nostalgic. I walk toward it, tossing the shirt onto the bed before opening the doors and stepping outside. I take a deep breath as I lean against the railing. I close my eyes and I can feel the way his arms felt wrapped around me. Not the way they felt this morning, but the way they felt then. I hear him follow me out and I open my eyes to look at him.

"Are you okay?" he asks me.

I offer him a half shrug; because I'm not. At least I'm not in the way that I would like to be…the way that I would be if things were back to normal. And I don't know who would blame me given the situation I'm in. "It's still strange," I tell him. "Being back here…like this."

"What was it like?" he asks, moving to stand next to me, his arms next to mine on the railing. "Your reality?"

"It was dangerous," I admit. "Things changed, people died, people chose the wrong side," I say thinking of myself in the case of Marcus and the decision I made that I thought were the right ones at the time. At the thought of him I wonder I I will see him here. I pray that we don't…I don't need the drama of Marcus Eaton added onto the bullshit that I'm already dealing with.

"Is that what happened to Tori and Uriah?"

I'm surprised at the question, so I look up at him. I didn't want to have this talk with him yet. I didn't have the answers and I don't like sounding like I don't know what I'm talking about. "What do you mean?'

The corner of his mouth twitches up. "Did they die?"

"Where is this coming from?"

"You know that I watch you right?" Tobias asks. I nod. "I see the way you look at them. "The way you looked at Tori earlier tonight, like you were surprised that she was even here. You looked at Uriah the same way today when he left the pit."

I swallow and turn away from him to look back out over the city. I don't know what to say. I chew on my lower lip to run my fingers through my hair nervously. His hand takes mine and he turns me around to face him. "Don't hide from me," he tells me. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Not even if I sound completely insane?"

He shakes his head. "No, not even then."

I sigh and nod before walking back into the room, his hand still in mind. I sit down on the bed and he sits across from me.

"In the life that I remember…people died. Uriah and Tori were some of them," I tell him.

"How did they die?"

"A group of us were trying to escape the city…to find whatever it was outside of the gates," I say. He looks confused. I shake my head. "I'll explain that later. But anyway, things happened and they died in the process." I didn't want to tell Tobias that he was the cause of Uriah's death because I had seen what it had done to him before.

"How are they here?"

"That's what I don't know," I say shaking my head. "What I remember is different from what everyone else remembers. And I partially believe that it has to have something to do with the memory serum, but other than that, I have no idea. I keep thinking that it's still a dream and I'll wake up with things back to normal, but part of me just wants to stay here."

Tobias smiles at me and brings a hand up to my cheek. "Even if we're not the same people as you remember?"

I nod and look up at him. "Yeah," I say. "I don't know why but you trust me. And I know that I can't do this without you."

He smiles at me. "You don't have to worry about that," he says before he pulls me in to kiss me again. I sigh against his lips and my hands move to his shirt to hold onto him. "Ever."

I look up at him and smile and he wraps his arms around me. I rest my head against his chest as he lays back down on the bed. This feeling of safety and peace, I haven't felt it in a while. The way his arms feel around me make me feel warm. I close my eyes as his lips brush against my head.

"We're going to meet with them tomorrow night," I say. "With Tori and Uriah, to see if we can figure things out."

I feel him nod. "Do you think any more people will be coming back?"

I shrug against him. "I'm not sure." If everyone starts to come back, I don't know how I would begin to explain it. "But if they do, we'll figure it out." I say before turning my head to look at him. "Together."

"Together." He tells me before kissing me again.


	13. Chapter 13

I wake up wrapped up in Tobias' arms and I wish that we could stay like this forever. If I keep my eyes closed long enough I can flash back to a time where everything is back to normal. Where this is real…where he knows me…like the way he did before. But I can't keep up the fake dream in my mind for much longer. The longer that I keep my eyes closed, the longer that I know that this isn't real and everything is _not _okay. Nothing is the same and I know better. I may not know why or how or who is behind this, but at least I'm alive. I have to open my eyes because I have a life to live. We have things to do and a training session to plan. I let out a deep sigh before tossing the covers from me. I try to move from the bed, but Tobias' arm tightens around me, pulling me against him.

"Where are you going?" he murmurs against the back of my neck.

"We have to get up," I answer.

He shakes his head and moves his lips down to my shoulder, kissing me softly. "No we don't," he says. "Five minutes."

I raise my eyebrows and move in his arms to pin them to his sides. "Five minutes?" I ask teasingly. "Someone's confident."

He looks up at me in surprise and then in the next few seconds he flips our bodies and is hovering above me. My breath catches in my throat and I feel my body shake against his. I don't think that I'm ready for this. I've done this before, but with a different Tobias, in a different time.

"I can go longer than five minutes," Tobias tells me leaning down so that our faces are inches apart.

"Oh, I know," I tell him, my voice comes out like a squeak.

He pulls back, blushing slightly. It had been a game earlier, but now this was serious. "We've…?" he trails off, not wanting to say the words. I wonder if he's embarrassed or something.

I don't know what to say…I sure as hell don't want to tell him the truth. Not yet. Not now. I swallow, licking my lips before shaking my head and fighting my way out of his arms and off of the bed. I grab a jacket and pull it over my head as I head toward the lockers. I hear him get off of the bed and his arm wraps around my wrist, pulling my around to look at him.

"Tris, stop!" He says. I'm facing him, but I don't meet his gaze. I take a breath. "Tris, look at me." I bite my lip and do as he says, my eyes meeting his. He lifts a hand and brushes against my cheek. "What's going on, baby?"

I lift my shoulders in a shrug. "Everything is the same for me," I tell him. "I know everything, I know you…I remember our life together, but you…you don't."

He shakes his head. "But I want to," he says, his voice soft as he looks at me. I can't stop the tears, I don't want to cry, but I don't remember hurting this much…ever. Not even when Peter beat me into a concussion. "It kills me seeing you like this, Tris," he says. "You're miserable and it's my fault."

"It's not…"

"It is," he says. "Even if it's not directly my fault, I'm associated with it. I may not be the same guy that you know…but I'm here…and I want to be with you. I hope that I can remember you one day, the life that we had together…but for now, this is all we have. And I'm okay with that. But I don't want you to suffer because it's not what you want. I am _here_, Tris. And I'm not going anywhere."

I blink away the tears and I lick my lips before pulling my hands from his so that I can wrap them around him. I rest my head against his chest and my heartbeat slows to its normal speed as I feel him breathe out a sigh of relief. He strokes my hair and we stand there together for a few moments before I finally pull away. He lets me move, but keeps his hands on my waist.

"Can I trust you not to run?" he asks me.

"Can I trust you to stay?" I counter.

He narrows his eyes at me and lifts his hand and shows me the raven that he got last night. "In case you don't remember," he says. "This is you. And you're always going to be a part of me. Whether you like it or not, I'm sticking around. For good. You can't push me away. Understand?"

I nod and stand on my toes to kiss him. It's soft and gentle and I don't want it to end. But the life that we're living, it's happening around us. I pull away and smile up at him. "I love you," I tell him.

And there it is. It slips past my lips before I even have a chance to brace myself for it. It's out there in the open and three words have never seemed quite as big as those do, hanging in the air between us. He looks confused for a second, like he's not quite sure that I've said it, but after a moment, he realizes what it was, and a grin takes the place of the puzzling expression on his face. "I love you."

He pulls me in for another kiss. This time it isn't sweet, or gentle…it's just passion. Pure and unadulterated passion. This is a side of Tobias that I know. He lifts me up into his arms, and moves us across the room. My back hits the wall and I let out a soft moan against his lips. I wrap my legs around him to hold on; not that I'm afraid of him dropping me, I just need something to grab onto and Tobias is the best thing for that. My fingers move up to tangle in his hair and I let out a gasp as his lips brush against my neck and he steps in against me pressing his entire body against mine. I can feel how much he wants me and it matches the way I feel about him.

I move my hands to run down his bare back and he pulls away from me, setting me down on the floor. "What's wrong?" I ask him, my breath uneven as my lungs hurry to refill.

He shakes his head and takes a step away from me running his fingers through his hair. "Nothing," he says. "Everything's perfect. _You're_ perfect."

I can't help but smile at that. "Then why'd you stop?" I ask leaning back against the wall as I look at him.

He smiles. "Because you may remember this," he says gesturing between the two of us. "But I don't. And I don't want it to be rushed. I want it to matter."

I tilt my head to the side and smile before crossing to him and kissing his cheek. "You're amazing, you know that?"

"I'm starting to figure that out," he tells me with a grin.

I nod at him. "Okay…you should probably take a cold shower?" I ask glancing down at him and all he does is grin. "And then we can go down to the Pit."

"Deal," He kisses me again before he walks away toward the bathroom.

I wait until he is gone from view before I slide down to the floor. It's him…it's always been him. It doesn't matter what he remembers or what he doesn't. This is Tobias Eaton…and he's the love of my life.

4


	14. Chapter 14

I don't know what I'm expecting when I get down to the Pit, but it's definitely not this. I do not know who else is coming back, or if this is just a dream within a dream. There had been so many things to happen in the past couple of days. Uriah, Tori, for god sakes, even _me_. And there is still no explanation. There is no reason, there is no knowing who is behind this. I can't leave this place because I'm under surveillance. I know that they're watching me. Whatever is on David's mind, whatever his plan is, he is going to break me apart. He is going to take everything away from me...more than he's already taken, and there's nothing I can do about it. He's onto me and that's why he sent me back. Punishing me, yes, that's fine, that's something I understand. But I don't know what he's doing with all of the people who have already died. They have already suffered, so what is the point for making them go through this again? Is it just to punish me? Is it to remind me who is really in charge? Because I know who's in charge now...and if I'm good at anything it's disrupting the status quo. But I have to do this quietly and I have to do things _my_ way.

So Tobias and I enter the Pit, and our initiation class is surrounding the sparring mat where I can easily see Uriah fighting with someone. Not like a real fight, but something the group could learn from. Uriah was one of out best fighters from my initiation class. I can't tell from our distance if it's someone from the class or an active member of Dauntless. The closer we get I can tell that it's a female with a shaved head. And my heart stops beating in my chest. My feet are frozen to the floor and I can't move. I can't force myself to move. Tobias attempts to keep walking, but his hand is attached to mine and I yank him back with me. He looks at me and his eyebrows are furrowed in confusion. He's worried, nervous, and I don't blame him, I've been a bit crazy over the past couple of days. But that's not without reason.

"You okay?" he asks me.

I'm staring at the two fighting on the mat and I can't breathe. This doesn't make any sense to me. If they're all coming back...what's the point. What's the meaning to all of this. Why is this happening? Why are they back? I swallow and my grip tightens on Tobias' arm because I feel dizzy now. I feel like I'm going to collapse. My knees are weak because I don't actually understand what's happening. Part of me believes that this is really all just a simulation and I'm still locked up at the Bureau. This could all just be some sick experiment that David is placing on me because I have pure genes. Not only that but the fact that I tried to defy him. Everything that was happening was my fault. Things has snowballed after my decision to choose Dauntless. I feel like I've lost vision, it's blurred, dark, I can't make out faces, I can't make out voices. This is too much.

"Tris?"

I take a few moments to gather my thoughts, take a few breaths. I open my eyes and Tobias is hovering over me, his eyes hooded with worry. I swallow and nod. "I'm fine," I say, offering him a smile. "I'm sorry."

"Don't dot hat," he tells me, pulling me into a hug. "You had me worried."

I breathe in his scent and it calms me like it always has. "I'm sorry," I repeat. I pull away from him and look back toward the mat where the fight has ended and Uriah and Lynn are now walking toward us. I smile at her and throw my arms around her neck. Sure, we weren't _that_ close before she died, but we were close enough that a hug was justified. A short one, though. She chuckles and looks me over when I pull away.

"You look good," she tells me.

I laugh. "Wow thank you," I say. "You too...considering I guess."

"Considering?" Tobias asks.

I look at him and shake my head, in a "not now" sort of way. I hope he understands, but this is definitely not something I want to talk about here. Too many innocent hears. Too many things that could be talked about and overheard. I couldn't take the chance that David would figure it out and do something to cause for trouble for me. He nods and I turn back to Lynn and Uriah.

"I don't know if Tori told you," I say to Uriah. "But we're meeting up tonight. To talk about things. If anyone else pops up...just bring them along."

"You think anyone else will come back?" Lynn sounds eager, excited and I know that she's talking about Marlene.

To be honest, I have no idea how far this is going to go back. how many people are going to start popping up. when it's going to stop. There's just too much to think about. And I can't let myself focus on it right now. Getting this class through their initiation is the most important thing right now. I remember what it felt like a year ago. I felt like I was in danger every day, and sure that was in most part due to Peter and his threats on my life. But this group of transfers...I wasn't going to let anything happen to them. this is supposed to be a better life for them.

I shake my head. "I'm not sure," I tell her. "It's been kind of intense the past couple of days. But we'll talk it out later. You two need to find something to do while we're training. Stay safe, busy. Have fun. You don't get to come back to life everyday."

They both give me a look and I shrug, smiling at them. "You're a nutcase, Tris," Lynn tells me.

"Oh yeah, she definitely knows that," Tobias says, with a grin.

I smack his arm and roll my eyes. "I'll see you guys tonight, okay?" I give another hug to Lynn and Uriah before stepping away and heading toward the group.

"Is she doing okay?" I hear Uriah ask Tobias, so I slow my pace so I can hear what they are saying about me.

I stop close enough away so that I can hear without being obvious that I'm listening. I glance back to see Tobias rubbing the back of his neck and turn just in time to see him stare at me, raising a brow. I turn away and bite my lower lip, pretending I'm paying attention to whatever the initiate is saying to me. Rude, I know, but when it's Tobias talking about me, I kind of have to know what he's saying.

"She's okay," he says. "Confused, but if I were in her shoes I'd be confused too."

At least it's the truth. I'm confused. I don't understand what's going on. But hopefully we can come to at least some type of understanding tonight. I trust Tori and if anyone can figure this out, I'm thinking it's her. I take a breath and look at the Candor transfer in front of me.

"Sorry, one more time," I tell him.

"What are we doing today?" he asks.

I purse my lips in thought and lift my shoulders in a shrug. "I'm thinking we'll work on your shooting. How's that sound?"

He grins. "Sounds great."

"Okay, good. Go wait with the others." I say before turning back around to Tobias.

He glances at me with a smirk. "Eavesdropping, we you?"

I shrug. "Can you blame me?"

He shakes his head. "No, not really."

"That's what I thought." I say, standing on my toes to press my lips to his cheek. "So...gun training sound good for today?"

He thinks about it for a second before nodding. "Sounds perfect."


	15. Chapter 15

After dinner is when we're supposed to meet up. When everyone is still working on dinner or working off dinner and training in the Pit or even just relaxing before bed. I'm sitting next to Tobias in the cafeteria, his hand is holding mine under the table...I wonder if he can feel how fast my heart is racing. I'm pretty sure every part of my body is pulsing with nerves right about now. Since the time all of us spoke in the Pit, there hadn't been any surprises. At least, none that I had heard about. Granted, I had been a little more than preoccupied with training today than I had been since we started. I mean, they were handling guns now and I didn't really feel like getting shot again. We barely had any time to stop for lunch before we started up again. I thought they looked promising, but Tobias thinks that they definitely need more work before capture the flag. I wished that we could go sooner rather than later, because I was anxious to get him back on the Ferris Wheel. But I can wait until the group is ready to go. We don't need anyone falling so far behind in training because they got injured at the fairground. I wonder if anyone has shown up. I wonder if anyone will realize the significance of Lynn and Uriah being here. No one knows but those of us who have come back. It's strange, being one of the few that knows what's going on. Just because I know what's going on, doesn't mean I have all the answers. I wish I did though. I wish I had a way to explain things to everyone. To explain things to myself.

I jump in my seat when Tobias squeezes my hand, and I feel embarrassed when I look at him. "Yeah?" I say, knowing there's red on my cheeks.

He smiles at me. "You kind of spaced out there for a bit," he tells me. "What's on your mind?"

"Sorry," I answer, biting my lower lip. "I was just thinking about tonight and also capture the flag."

"That game seems to have meaning..." he says. "Are you going to tell me what it is?"

I shake my head. "No," I grin. "It's not really something I can explain. It has to be experienced."

"Oh yeah?" he asks me raising his eyebrows teasingly as he leans in to kiss me.

I kiss him back and when I pull away I see Peter and Christina staring at us. I would originally be surprised seeing them sitting together, but I'm not now. Especially not after they've both been "spurned" in the last few days. I don't know what they could be planning together in terms of revenge, but I'm not looking forward to having to deal with it. I shake my head and look at Tobias who turns his head to see what I was looking at before scoffing and looking back at me.

"Don't mind them," he says. "If they give you any trouble, I'm always going to be around."

I nod. "I know," I say. "You're kind of perfect that way."

"I'm far from perfect," He says, wrinkling his nose at me

"Whatever you say," I say shaking my head at him. "But I know the truth."

He smirks at me and looks up at the clock and clears his throat. "Should we go?" he asks me, his voice quiet. I follow his gaze to the clock and feel my heart pick up speed again. I barely ate anything due to the fact that I was so nervous about the meeting. What if they all expect me to have all the answers? I mean...I am the last person to have died. If that's even what happened. I nod at his question before we get up and leave the cafeteria. Uriah and Lynn follow shortly after, as to not draw any attention. The last thing we needed was people showing up at the meeting and figuring out things that they just didn't need to know.

We meet up at the top of the stairs before heading down the hall toward the Tattoo Parlor and I feel the butterflies start up again. I take a breath and lick my lips and Tobias squeezes my hand, reassuring me. "It's gonna be fine," he whispers to me.

He opens the door and the first thing I see if Tori standing talking to a familiar girl and my heart picks up speed again.

"Marlene?"

Lynn is the one who speaks and before any of us have time to react, she is sprinting toward her and enveloping her in a hug. Things are beginning to make sense now. First it was me. I woke up in the infirmary with wounds from my last encounter. From when David shot me. And then it was Uriah with the pounding headache. And then Tori. We're coming back in the opposite order we fell. I can't feel my legs so my grip on Tobias tightens because I feel like I'm going to fall over.

"Tris?" Tobias turns and his grips both of my arms and holds me against him. "Baby, are you okay?"

I hold onto his arms and rest against his chest, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath.

"Tris?" Tori asks.

I nod against his chest. "I'm fine," I say. I take a few more seconds before letting go of him and moving over to one of the chairs. Everyone is already sitting down so Tobias takes the chair next to me. He's not letting go of my hand, and I'm grateful about it.

"Are you okay?" Uriah asks, from my other side.

I look up around the circle of chairs and nod. "Yeah," I say. "I think I figured something out."

"Please share it," Tori says.

Her voice is soft and her eyes are on mine. Tobias squeezes my hand and I take a breath.

"I don't know how right I am about this...it's just a theory," I say. I take a breath and lick my lips. "But we're coming back in the opposite order that we died."

"So who's next?" Lynn asks from her spot next to Marlene on the other side of Uriah.

I look at her, though I'm not really seeing her. I close my eyes to try to remember back to when I lost everyone. It hurt. The way that it felt watching all of my friends die. Watching the way that they hurt losing the people that they love. Remembering back to how everything went down, especially after the simulation that cost so many people their lives. I replay everything that's happened, every moment, every fight, every word. And I gasp as my eyes snap open. They find Tori and everyone is staring at her. Everyone except Tobias, who has no idea...he doesn't remember.

Tori takes a breath and nods. "It's Jeanine," she says, her voice quiet, but full of strength. She had killed Jeanine because she blamed her for the death of her brother. And now that she knows that George is alive? What will happen now? "And I'm the one who killed her."


	16. Chapter 16

Ever since the announcement…ever since we have an idea of what's going on, we're all nervous. We know what Jeanine can do and we don't want to see her do it. I am nervous. We're all nervous. I explained things the best that I could to Tobias after the meeting, because he was the only one out of us who had no idea what had really happened before. And I didn't want him to feel as out of loop as he already did. Plus, he's Tobias, and as much as I kept from him before, I don't want that to be our relationship. So much had gone wrong when we kept things from each other, and I don't want to repeat that part of our history. We've been trying to keep an eye out for any signs of distress from the city. Making sure that we're watching what's going on when we go for our runs, when we're picking up supplies for the compound. But it's been three days and I haven't heard anything. Then again, Tobias doesn't really want me going out on my own. And I don't blame him. The last time he and I tried to do things separately, I almost died.

It's right after training and Tobias and I are heading back to his room. I wanted to change clothes before dinner, today we had demonstrated fighting and I might have been a little more hands on than I normally am, but I had a lot of frustration to work out. We had four people come back…five, including me, in less than a week. And yet…the one person that we're scared out, the person that we're waiting to come back…she's nowhere to the found, nothing to be heard from. What is she planning? What is she going to do to us? I run my fingers through my hair and it's only when I pull then away that I realize that they had been shaking. I groan and push open the door, unzipping my jacket and tossing it to the floor.

"Tris?"

I don't answer him, I just move to the lockers to pull out a new shirt. I let out a shaky breath and close my eyes shaking my head, willing myself not to cry. I hold the shirt in my hands, but I make no move to switch it with the one I'm currently wearing. I jump when Tobias places a hand on my arm.

"You okay?"

I turn around to look at him and then just shake my head. "Not really, no."

Instead of speaking, he just pulls me into a hug and I bury my face in his shoulder, taking a deep breath for his scent and I feel calm automatically. I feel safe in his arms and it's moments like these that I wish that everything else could fall away from us and that we could be the only people in the world. Things would be better this way. At least part of me believes that. The other part knows better. With everything that has been going on, I know that that's not the smartest decision. We have jobs…we have decisions that need to be made and battles to be fought. Though I don't know what to expect for the future.

He pulls away from me and takes my hand, leading me to the bed and has me sit down next to him. "What's going on?" he asks me, squeezing my hand.

I pull my feet up onto the bed and turn to face him, meeting his dark blue eyes that are focused on my face. It's that intense gaze of his that makes me feel safe…that I can tell him anything, because I can. And now that he knows…well, mostly knows about what had happened here in the past, I know that I can count on him for more than just moral support. He's been the guy to always look after me. No matter what.

"I'm scared," I tell him, my voice cracking. My eyes sting with the promise of tears and I know that I can't stop myself this time. I'm not strong enough "I don't know that to expect. I don't know what's coming. I don't know how to do this." I close my eyes and feel the tears roll down my cheeks. I lick my lips and try to choke back a sob, but fail. My breath comes out in gasps.

"Hey, look at me," Tobias whispers, and I feel his hands on my cheeks, wiping away my tears. I open my eyes and meet his eyes. "It's gonna be okay, Tris. I promise."

"How can you know that?" I ask. "You don't remember what Jeanine was like. What she did…who she hurt. She didn't care. She's a sociopath."

"And from what you've told me, we take care of it, and we stop her. We can stop her again."

I lift a hand and wipe at my cheek. "It's scary, you know?" I say. "Reliving the past."

"But you're not," he tells me. "This is the future. This is _our_ future. We have a chance to do things differently this time. And I know that I'm not the same person you're in love with, but—"

I don't even let him finish. There's no point. I close the gap between us and kiss him, short, sweet, but full of everything that I can't say to him. I pull away and rest my head against his. "You _are_ the same person I'm in love with," I say, my voice quiet. "I love you, Tobias. Always."

He chuckles softly and I look up at him. He's smiling at me and kisses me again. After a moment, I pull away. "Wait, what is that funny?"

He smiles. "Because I've been feeling that I've been competing with this other…_me_. And I don't know if you realize how difficult it is to live up to someone that I don't remember."

I shake my head. "There's nothing to live up to," I tell him. "You're him. You're you, and you're the one that I want to be with."

"Yeah?" he asks me, his arms wrapping around my waist and pulling me toward him. My heart is beating fast in my chest and I feel like I can't breathe properly. Not with the way that his eyes are penetrating mine.

"Yeah," I answer, my voice quiet.

I look down at his lips before back up at his eyes and it's like we share the same thought. We move together in perfect unison and our lips crash together, hungrily and my hands move around to find the hem of his shirt tugging it up over his head. He does the same with my shirt before laying me down on the bed. Our lips collide again and his hands are on my pants tugging them down and my fingers work on his, wanting to feel all of him. He pulls away and our breath mingles as he stares down at me, for permission and I nod, and he pushes my legs apart and I feel my heartbeat quicken. I let out a shake breath as he looks down at me again before pushing into me.

We move together and we don't miss a single beat. I don't care that this isn't the life that I remember. This is the life that I have, and Tobias…he makes everything better.


	17. Chapter 17

I wake to the sound of pounding on the door. It pulls me from the dream, of the reality that was once my life. Though it wasn't a dream...it was a reality. My parents are still alive and it is before the Choosing Ceremony. The night before. We are eating dinner together and talking about our choices and I am reprimanded for speaking out of turn. I could not help myself, I was just curious about it...hungry for the answers, and in that moment truly believed that I belonged in Erudite. I had three options, and only one choice to make. It weighed on my all night long, I had barely gotten any sleep. But as I stood before the bowls, I didn't know which choice to make. Part of me already knew what would happen if I chose Dauntless, but part of my wanted to choose another path. If I had chosen another path, my parents wouldn't be gone. Or maybe they would. Any choice I would have made, Jeanine would have still taken over Dauntless and slaughtered hundreds of people. My heart jumps in my chest and I scramble out of the bed to find whatever clothing is near me and pull a shirt of over my head. Tobias is already out of the bed and he's walking toward the door.

He opens the door and I look up at who enters. It's Tori, followed by Uriah, Lynn and Marlene. I narrow my eyes and look at them. The shirt is long enough so that I don't need pants, but the sudden intrusion makes me realize that I should put them on. I head to the lockers and pull out a pair of my pants and pull them on before turning back to look at them.

"What is it?" I ask pulling my hair back into a ponytail. "What's wrong?"

Tori looks at me and she looks worried. So I know what it is. I swallow and lick my lips. I shake my head and rub my face.

"She's back isn't she?"

Tori nods and I sit down on the bed. We knew she was coming back, but we didn't know when. And I didn't realize how it would affect me knowing that she was around again. She was dangerous, and who knew what kind of hold she would have on the leadership of the city. In Erudite she was probably already brainwashing more and more people. Who knew what she could do next? Who knew what she was planning. I look up when Tori sits down next to me. The others grab chairs and circle us.

"We're going to be okay," she says. "We can handle her. We've done this before."

"But we're the only ones," I answer. "We're not much of an army."

She shakes her head. "We don't need an army. We just need a strong enough following."

"What do you mean?" I ask her.

"The last time she took control was with the trackers," Tori says. "She had every single one of us injected. We know better now. We can stop it from happening again."

"How can we do that without telling everyone else the truth?" Marlene ask. "Not everyone is as understanding as Tobias."

Tobias looks surprised that Marlene used his real name. I guess he's just used to people calling him Four. Especially in this life. He looks at me and I lift my shoulders, smiling at him. I look at Tori.

"What Marlene said," I tell her. "How do we do that?"

Tori smiles. "You leave that to me," she says. "I'm still part of leadership here at Dauntless. I can work something out with Max."

"Wait," Lynn says. "Max? Didn't I shoot that guy?"

We look at her. And then I remember. Max was shot in the chest. By Lynn. He died. Timeline wise, he shouldn't have been there that night we introduced the initiates. He gave the same speech that he gave my first night here. I look at Tori.

"What is Max doing here?" I ask.

"What is going on?" Tobias asks.

I shake my head. "We were coming back in the order that we died," I say. "But Max…he was here when I showed up. He shouldn't be here. I don't know why he's here. Or how."

He sits back in his chair. "Well, shit."

I stand up and take a breath. "I don't even know to do with this information. I don't even know what to do."

Tori stands with me and touches my arm. "We'll take of it," she tells me. "I don't want you to worry."

"I don't know how _not_ to worry about this," I answer.

"Easy," Uriah says. "Go train your initiates."

"But what about—"

"Nope," Marlene says getting up and tugging on my arms. "Go to work. Worry about something else."

I bite my lower lip.

"I'm serious…" Tori says. "Go."

I nod. "Fine, fine," I say. "Let me get changed. And please…don't keep me out of the loop."

They nod and Uriah comes over to give me a hug and kisses my cheek. "It'll be fine," he says. "Well see you soon."

I smile and when they leave and turned to look at Tobias. He comes over to me and pulls me into a hug. He presses his lips to my head. "It's going to be okay," he says.

"I don't know what to do," I speak into his shoulder.

"Like they said," he says. "They're taking care of it. You don't need to worry."

"You know me though," I say. "I always worry about everything."

"Yeah I do," he grins.

I smile and press my lips to his. "I love you," I say.

"Love you, more."

I pull away from him and go to pull my training clothes on. After we're done we head downstairs.

"I think we should play capture the flag tonight," he says.

I look at him. "What are you talking about?"

"We need to get our minds off of the whole coming back to life thing," Tobias tells me. "I think that capture the flag will be fun for the initiates as well as fun for us."

I smile. "You know what, you're right."

"Besides, you mentioned something about the Ferris Wheel," he says. "Maybe we can relive some of your old memories."

I bite my lip. 'You'd climb the Ferris Wheel for me?"

"There's not a lot that I wouldn't do for you, Tris."

I stop walking and he stops with me. I stand on my toes and kiss him again. When I pull away from him he grins at me and we enter the Pit with a smile on my lips. The initiates are all standing together.

"Okay guys," I call out. "We've got pairs up on the screen."

"Everybody line up," Tobias shouts.


End file.
